The student news site of Tarbut V'Torah Community Day School.

The Lions' Pride

Ever Wondered Why Mrs. Smallwood Is Such A Good Cheerleader: Satire

Ever Wondered Why Mrs. Smallwood Is Such A Good Cheerleader: Satire

Tali R, Sports Editor

March 9, 2017


Filed under Lions' Den, Satire: Happy Purim!

Ever wondered why Mrs. Smallwood is such a good chearleader? Here is your answer. She used to work at Cirque Du Soleil. It all started about a billion years ago when the dinosaurs were still roaming, and Mrs. Smallwood was still front flipping. Tarbut V'Torah Community Day School comes into the pictu...

The Phone Chuckers are Back!!!!!! 📱👋(Satire)

The Phone Chuckers are Back!!!!!! 📱👋(Satire)

Hope H, TVT Trends Editor

March 9, 2017


Filed under Middle School, Satire: Happy Purim!

Oh, No…. It's back. The Phone box is coming back in the next year, 2017-2018. I have gotten news from Mr. Wood that they are coming back because too many kids have been caught with their phones during school. First, having to deal with not being able to use it during lunch and now not able to even ...

It’s A Pet Palooza🦄 (Satire)

It’s A Pet Palooza🦄 (Satire)

Tali R, Sports Editor

March 7, 2017


Filed under Creativity Corner, Culture, Middle School, Satire: Happy Purim!

Adopt-A-Big-Fluffy-Pet-Day 6:30 a.m.: I woke up in the morning as excited as can be; today was the day I was going to adopt my first pet. A big fluffy, pet. I was so eager to get to the pet store downtown, that I ran over to my parents room and fell onto the bed giving my mom a giant blue bruis...

Hoping Hoppers Pogo to the Top (Satire)

Hoping Hoppers Pogo to the Top (Satire)

Kyla S., Culture Editor

March 3, 2017


Filed under Athletics

Pogoing has been around quite some time now. Our ancestors used to Pogo around to get to a fro before people were aware that legs were good for walking. Sadly, as time went on, pogoing wasn’t celebrated as much as it should have been. Everyone put down their pogo sticks and lifted their iPhones and ho...

Kid Rebels Against His Absentee Parents Ay Attending A Top Tier College And Med School

Kid Rebels Against His Absentee Parents Ay Attending A Top Tier College And Med School

Emily R., 2015-16 Editor In Chief

March 23, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

Nathaniel McDonald, 18, of Riverside, California has angered his parents by intentionally excelling in academia and getting accepted to Princeton University. His mother, Joanna, and his stepfather, Mike were never present in his life. “I was really lonely as a child, so I immersed myself in liter...

Ted Cruz: Zodiac Killer

Ted Cruz: Zodiac Killer

Rebecca C., Guest Writer

March 17, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

The zodiac killer was a serial killer who was active during the 1960's but was never caught. In the year 2016, he was caught; Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer. Think about it. How do we know if he is actually Canadian or if that is simply something to draw attention away from the fact that one of t...

Scientists Find Empirical Evidence for God, Others

Scientists Find Empirical Evidence for God, Others

Jacob K., Guest Writer

March 16, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

—Geneva, Switzerland Physicists at CERN announced early Monday morning that recent findings from a round of particle acceleration uncovered compelling evidence for God, Jesus, Odin, Ishtar, Apollo, at least three Polynesian deities, and Quetzalcoatl.   “While the results of the collision d...

TVT’s Newest School Curse, Err, Course

TVT’s Newest School Curse, Err, Course

Isabella S., Staff Writer

March 4, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

In an attempt to optimize technology here at TVT, the school administration has issued that all middle school students must bring a laptop to school and that all elementary school kids are required to have an iPad. In a further attempt to save money, all elementary and middle school students will...

Sliding Into The New School Year

Sliding Into The New School Year

Emily R., Editor In Chief

October 19, 2015


Filed under Lions' Den

Can we talk about how the school is building a SLIDE?!. In the next year, we will have a SLIDE that supposedly goes from the upper school to the lower school. It is a brilliant idea! A fun and convenient way to travel from class to class--this SLIDE will literally be the epicenter of student life! A sc...

I Need a Man Because Disney Told Me So

I Need a Man Because Disney Told Me So

Ariana A-D, Assistant Copy Editor

April 29, 2015


Filed under Entertainment & Technology

What’s a princess without a prince? Just “ss”. What’s Cinderella without Prince Charming? A slave in her own home. What would Snow White and Aurora be without their knights in shining armor? Still in comas. Ariel without Prince Eric? A fish. What will I be if I don’t find someone who finds...

Thoughts of Emily

Thoughts of Emily

Emily Rosen, Entertainment Co-Editor

March 5, 2015


Filed under Lions' Den

I really don’t like red helmets, but I wear them when I ride my scooter I actually find peace when I make powerpoints I would like to buy 32 pairs of all-white New Balance sneakers. I mutter the phrase “say it ain’t so” under my breath twice a day My leg twitches every time I watch West Side S...

My Ideal Prom Dress

My Ideal Prom Dress

Emily R, Entertainment Co-Editor

May 5, 2011


Filed under Entertainment & Technology

Whenever I look in magazines, I see advertisements for extremely gaudy, tacky, flashy, bright, puffy prom dresses. Those dresses are so elaborate and ridiculous, but I wish I had the guts to wear one to prom. Being the neurotic conformist that I am, I would never actually wear a dress like that, but I ...

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