The student news site of Tarbut V'Torah Community Day School.

The Lions' Pride

A Short History of Purim

A Short History of Purim

March 9, 2017


Filed under Uncategorized

Every year in Jewish tradition, we read Megilah Esther, a story in the Torah about a young women, appropriately named Esther, who becomes the Queen of Persia and saves the Jewish people from being killed on the 14th of Adar by a man named Haman. Because Esther saved the Jewish people, we host a celeb...

Ever Wondered Why Mrs. Smallwood Is Such A Good Cheerleader: Satire

Ever Wondered Why Mrs. Smallwood Is Such A Good Cheerleader: Satire

Tali R, Sports Editor

March 9, 2017


Filed under Lions' Den, Satire: Happy Purim!

Ever wondered why Mrs. Smallwood is such a good chearleader? Here is your answer. She used to work at Cirque Du Soleil. It all started about a billion years ago when the dinosaurs were still roaming, and Mrs. Smallwood was still front flipping. Tarbut V'Torah Community Day School comes into the pictu...

The Real Reason The Chicken🐔 Crossed The Road🛣 (Satire)

The Real Reason The Chicken🐔 Crossed The Road🛣 (Satire)

Kyla S., Culture Editor

March 7, 2017


Filed under Lions' Den

Most people know I crossed the road to get to the other side, but no one seems to care why. Why? No one asks me, “hey Philip (ya, my name is Philip the chicken), what’s the reason you needed to get to the other side?” No one cares. People just always talk about my life story as a joke. Why did t...

Wendy’s the Roasting🔥 Company

Wendy’s the Roasting🔥 Company

Hope H, TVT Trends Editor

March 3, 2017


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!, TVT Trends

Wendy's the fast food chain🍔🍟 has always been more savage than the other fast food chains🍔🍟. Their twitter📱🐦 can prove that. Wendy's started using their twitter📱🐦 to get attention and it has worked. They are using their twitter📱🐦 to roast and speak🗣 to customers and ...

Hoping Hoppers Pogo to the Top (Satire)

Hoping Hoppers Pogo to the Top (Satire)

Kyla S., Culture Editor

March 3, 2017


Filed under Athletics

Pogoing has been around quite some time now. Our ancestors used to Pogo around to get to a fro before people were aware that legs were good for walking. Sadly, as time went on, pogoing wasn’t celebrated as much as it should have been. Everyone put down their pogo sticks and lifted their iPhones and ho...

Kid Rebels Against His Absentee Parents Ay Attending A Top Tier College And Med School

Kid Rebels Against His Absentee Parents Ay Attending A Top Tier College And Med School

Emily R., 2015-16 Editor In Chief

March 23, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

Nathaniel McDonald, 18, of Riverside, California has angered his parents by intentionally excelling in academia and getting accepted to Princeton University. His mother, Joanna, and his stepfather, Mike were never present in his life. “I was really lonely as a child, so I immersed myself in liter...

Hillary Clinton Endorses Bernie Sanders In An Effort To Appeal To Millennials

Hillary Clinton Endorses Bernie Sanders In An Effort To Appeal To Millennials

Emily R., Editor in Chief

March 22, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

 Hillary Clinton is feeling the Bern.     After trying (and in most cases, failing) to attract the support of young, millennial voters through relatable tweets, appearances on shows such as SNL and Broad City, and overusing the phrase “YAAAS QUEEN”, she has found what millennials love the mo...

Ted Cruz: Zodiac Killer

Ted Cruz: Zodiac Killer

Rebecca C., Guest Writer

March 17, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

The zodiac killer was a serial killer who was active during the 1960's but was never caught. In the year 2016, he was caught; Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer. Think about it. How do we know if he is actually Canadian or if that is simply something to draw attention away from the fact that one of t...

I Got SADS And Lived To Tell The Tale

I Got SADS And Lived To Tell The Tale

Emily R., Editor in Chief

March 17, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

When I was 16, I got SADS. It's like SIDS, but sadder. Yes, me, a normal, perfectly healthy teenage girl, had SADS. SADS was the bully and I was the victim. Yet I persevered and lived to tell the tale.   I am a fighter. A warrior. A survivor.   One morning, I woke up with a horri...

Scientists Find Empirical Evidence for God, Others

Scientists Find Empirical Evidence for God, Others

Jacob K., Guest Writer

March 16, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

—Geneva, Switzerland Physicists at CERN announced early Monday morning that recent findings from a round of particle acceleration uncovered compelling evidence for God, Jesus, Odin, Ishtar, Apollo, at least three Polynesian deities, and Quetzalcoatl.   “While the results of the collision d...

The REAL Reason Girls Wear Leggings

The REAL Reason Girls Wear Leggings

Elianna S., Staff Writer

March 2, 2016


Filed under Satire: Happy Purim!

As you may know, a popular and fairly recent trend is the adorning of leggings by women for almost any occasion. Of course, this is not just a simple fashion trend. There are plenty of benefits to wearing leggings, some more obvious than others. These are the most important advantages to wearing legging...

Eliana Razin vs. Kylie Jenner: Family Feud?

Eliana Razin vs. Kylie Jenner: Family Feud?

Kaitlyn T., Middle School Staff Writer

March 10, 2015


Filed under Middle School

Eliana Razin, an eighth grader, recently shared her secret about being related to the Jenner family. Eliana’s Aunt Cindy is cousins with Bruce, Pam, Lisa, and Burt Jenner. Bruce’s children, Kylie and Kendall, frequently call Eliana to spend the day in LA with them. Eliana was supposed to keep this...

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