It’s A Pet Palooza🦄 (Satire)

Tali R, Sports Editor

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6:30 a.m.:

I woke up in the morning as excited as can be; today was the day I was going to adopt my first pet. A big fluffy, pet. I was so eager to get to the pet store downtown, that I ran over to my parents room and fell onto the bed giving my mom a giant blue bruise. I was determined to get to the pet store by nine in the morning, right when the shop opened. But…

9:00  a.m.:

Of course, I decided to lay down on my bed and do some research about the exact pet I was getting, and I fell asleep. I dreamed about the fluffiest, puffiest, cutest… and then my mom woke me up. So when I finally actually brushed my teeth, and got dressed, I promised myself that by noon I would be at the pet shop.

11:00 a.m.:

By the time 10 o’clock rolled around my parents were hungry. Very hungry. So we headed over to the Spectrum to sit down for a nice big meal for brunch. As we enjoyed our tasty meals, my parents started to think; “maybe we should hop into a few stores on the way to the pet shop, or go on a shopping spree. Oh, how I love shopping!” my mom exclaimed. Everybody turned their heads to our table, stared at us for a few seconds, and then slowly continue eating. Obviously, my dad has to do what my mom says because “happy wife, happy life”.

2:30 p.m.:

By the time it got to 2:30, we were all worn out from “shopping”, because of course we spent like 2 hours wandering around Macy’s and coming out with completely nothing. So we walked out of Macy’s ready to go to the pet shop; I was so thrilled! I just couldn’t hold back anymore, “Aaaaaaaaaaah, I can’t believe that we’re actually getting our first pet! Thank you sooooooo much mami, and papi.” I exclaimed.

3:00 p.m.:

On the way to the pet store, we passed my neighborhood, and my parents decided to stop for a tiny snack at home because they were already getting hungry. So, we stopped at home, ate a sandwich, gobbled down a pack on gummies, and drove on.

4:30 p.m.:

We were finally at the pet shop, FINALLY!!!! I started to bounce off the walls, and when I calmed down, this is what happened. I walked over to every cage, looking at every animal that stood out to me. Not the fish, it was fluffy, it was puffy, it was big, it was the best animal in the whole wide world. I called my dad over so that he would approve of the pet that I had just named Trixie. When my dad came over, his eyes opened wide, his lower jaw dropped to the ground, he stared for a while, and ended up shrugging, saying “okay, I guess”, and walking away. I ran back up to him and told him, “Let’s go to checkout!!”. So he came back over with me to buy Trixie, and by the time we got there my unicorn was gone. I was so sad, I was furious, I was willing to find, run after, and then tackle the person who stole the best plush toy in the whole world. To make me feel better, my mom then walked up to me together with my dad, and bought me a plush narwhal.

J.K! Happy Purim! (I secretly wish that somebody didn’t buy Trixie before me, of course I want a pet unicorn!)

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